Admissions

I'm lazy. I'm not going to mask it with words like, "procrastinator". I am just lazy sometimes. Thursday to right now I have been in a sloth-like state. Maybe because I saw four day weekend and thought, screw doing anything, I'm going to vegetate because after this, there's no stopping until December.

I don't like this feeling though. I feels like I just wasted days. I didn't clean like I wanted, didn't take walks like I wanted, and didn't do a lot of other things that I wanted to do.

It feel it's good to recognize these happenings and feelings so that I can be wary of it when I feel as though I'm slipping into sloth-time.

This isn't to say that I think all down time should be jam packed with stuff to do. It's just I didn't have a good balance of doing what I need to do and doing what I want to do.

I also wanted to clear up any thoughts that this blog is a cry for attention or just a bunch of fiction. This is legitimately what I'm going through to reach my goal. I know for myself, that doing this is not easy and goes against what I've always done. I am also doing this to keep myself accountable by not being able to live in denial anymore and maybe it may help someone else. I feel it is good modeling for those needing support around making a life change and for how to share appropriately. I'm not talking about anything gross or really personal about myself. Just sharing my thoughts and experiences within reason.

So now that I've lost that mental weight, I need to start losing physical weight. I'm getting better with my eating but exercising needs to start taking more of the focus. I had to admit to myself that exercise has to happen in the mornings, because I am just too tired to do so at the end of the day. I'm going to give it a whirl for this week (starting tomorrow) and see how it goes.

Here's to fresh starts.

Rub a dub dub

Along with eating well, I've also started a new skin care routine. I've had zits for as long as I can remember it seems. I've always used harsh scrubs, toners, and creams and sometimes they would disappear and sometimes my skin would just be red and blotchy.

I found my current skin care routine from the Vixen Vintage blog. She takes a love thy skin approach to facial skin care. I've noticed my face is less red and blotchy and my makeup looks better on my skin.

The first rule...

Tea Fight Club. First rule about tea fight club is you don't talk about tea fight club. Second rule about tea fight club is YOU DON'T TALK ABOUT TEA FIGHT CLUB. Third rule of tea fight club is pinkies in the air when sipping you impolite bastards.

Oh Temptation

I was tired and vulnerable on the last stretch of my 45 minute drive home from interning and then the thought popped in my mind, chicken parm mmmmmm. It was ordered and consumed before I could stop myself. I need to have a more robust snack on my way home from interning or need to wake myself up before the drive home. The temptation came about because I had the lazy, wiped feeling. I am a tiny bit Italian and all of it is concentrated in the area of my taste buds. God I want to kick the pasta habit!

Also, I HATE TEA! Not for the taste this time, but because it made me 10 minutes late because it decided to spill itself all of the couch. Yes, that's right. IT had a conscious and chose to spill itself just to spite me. Stupid evil tea. Right now, I know it's sitting there in the shadows of the kitchen cabinet, stroking a sugar packet, hissing yesssss yesssssss ruin her daaaaaaaaay.

Shake it Like a Polaroid Picture

Exercise is going to be really hard to squeeze into my weekday schedule. I'm going to take it where I can get it, like on Mondays walking from the parking garage to class and then from there to my other class. It sounds lame because the walks are only 5 minutes long, but I was the kid at UConn who took the bus everywhere and who would park at one building for class, get in my car, and drive a minute down the road to park next to the building for my other class at CCSU.

It's not the walking that's the problem, it's the getting out of breath. I don't want people to see me out of breath. It's just a thing like some people absolutely cannot poop in public bathrooms for fear of being heard/ridiculed. It's sort of like that.

I may take walks during my downtime at my internships. It's tough with the warm weather we've recently got because I don't want to be all sweaty for my clients and have a situation like this going on.

How do you fit in exercise during the day?

PS - I was trying to think of a movement related title and this was the first thing that popped in my head. Then I watched the video on youtube (maybe more than once) and then downloaded the song to listen to on the way to internship tomorrow (maybe more than twice). The end.

An excuse to go shopping :D

I need a lunch box but I hate the conventional plasticy lunch boxes you can at the store which will not be named.

So I turned to etsy.com to find a funky lunch box and found this seller who makes bento box bags. I fell in love with her bags and ordered 2 sans the bento boxes.

Cute lunch boxes.

She was great to work with in customizing the bags and I'll take pics and post when they come in. If you're interested, please check out the link to her website, Ojamiya.

Must Love Tea

I hate the taste of tea. I've had tea once before and that was when I was a kid and was sick. Thus, I have an aversion to tea, but want to like it. I bought this yesterday:

It tastes 95% awesome except for that tea taste. I need help with ways to learn to like that tea taste. Is there a way to enjoy the acclimation process without using tons of sugar to love it (which I did today to start the process :/)?

One thing I did in the car ride to class is to say outloud, "This tastes great!" after every sip. It worked to stop the yuck! response, but I can't really do that in the middle of class.

What have you done/do you do to enjoy your tea?

First day of school

20 minutes in and I've sent 2 emails, commented on facebook, and now I'm writing a blog post. Yup, Ethics is AWESOME. Before class, I cooked all my meals for the week. These are my new best friends:


The vacuum bags work really well plus you have to pump by hand so it moves some muscles lol. The rubbermaid containers are awesome because now I won't lose lids.

Now, I don't have to worry about cooking when I come home wiped out and I won't be tempted to grab something on the way home. I packed dinner for tonight and snacks. I never pack snacks but then I always end up hungry and then I come home and eat yuck. Today's snack is pretzels and grapes.

Links to my favorite products:
Ziploc Vacuum Bags

Rubbermaid Easy Find Lids

Confession

I want to lose 70 pounds by graduation. Graduation is May 26th. I have about 9 months to accomplish this goal. This is my long term goal. By long, I mean, I cannot fathom the possibility of graduation yet (didn't I just start my Master's program???).

Other goals I have:
- to run (not a marathon, not become a runner; just to run. lose the inhibition and just run).
- stop eating past 7pm (eating at 10:30pm has become a bad habit since grad school started).
- like green tea (tea reminds me of being sick, which makes me want to barf).
- having a set circadian rhythm
- eat breakfast everyday
- cut out high fructose corn syrup

This blog and making it public goes against everything I have ever thought about losing weight. I have NEVER discussed it with anyone. I need to force myself to be open about it because then I cannot stay in denial of it if its out there in the vast tubes of the interwebs.

Yes, during probably the most stressful year of my life so far, I will be attempting to lose weight and focus on being healthy. Usually, I've heard that this is the year where health, weight, and exercise go out the window. One of my internship supervisors, called me a masochist. She may have hit the nail on the head, but if I can do it this year, then I can do it once I'm out in the working world.

CAN SHE DO IT? Tune in next time when she blogs about more blah blah blah