Admissions

I'm lazy. I'm not going to mask it with words like, "procrastinator". I am just lazy sometimes. Thursday to right now I have been in a sloth-like state. Maybe because I saw four day weekend and thought, screw doing anything, I'm going to vegetate because after this, there's no stopping until December.

I don't like this feeling though. I feels like I just wasted days. I didn't clean like I wanted, didn't take walks like I wanted, and didn't do a lot of other things that I wanted to do.

It feel it's good to recognize these happenings and feelings so that I can be wary of it when I feel as though I'm slipping into sloth-time.

This isn't to say that I think all down time should be jam packed with stuff to do. It's just I didn't have a good balance of doing what I need to do and doing what I want to do.

I also wanted to clear up any thoughts that this blog is a cry for attention or just a bunch of fiction. This is legitimately what I'm going through to reach my goal. I know for myself, that doing this is not easy and goes against what I've always done. I am also doing this to keep myself accountable by not being able to live in denial anymore and maybe it may help someone else. I feel it is good modeling for those needing support around making a life change and for how to share appropriately. I'm not talking about anything gross or really personal about myself. Just sharing my thoughts and experiences within reason.

So now that I've lost that mental weight, I need to start losing physical weight. I'm getting better with my eating but exercising needs to start taking more of the focus. I had to admit to myself that exercise has to happen in the mornings, because I am just too tired to do so at the end of the day. I'm going to give it a whirl for this week (starting tomorrow) and see how it goes.

Here's to fresh starts.